


We're Dominos

by Take_Me_To_My_Fragile_Dreams



Category: Mortal Instruments Series - Cassandra Clare
Genre: Angst with a Happy Ending, Breaking Up & Making Up, M/M, Magnus finally forgives Alec and goes back to him, Make up sex, Presumed Dead, Vampires, it only takes a couple of years
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-03-03
Updated: 2014-03-08
Packaged: 2018-01-14 11:46:15
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 4,478
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1265332
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Take_Me_To_My_Fragile_Dreams/pseuds/Take_Me_To_My_Fragile_Dreams
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>When you tried to forget someone, it was as if everything sought for the opposite, shoving the fact that they were gone in your face over and over.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Song is Back From The Dead by Skylar Grey

In the end, Magnus did what he did best, he ran away. He didn’t want to remember the look on Alec’s face when he’d told him it was over, didn’t want to miss the taste of him on his lips, didn’t want to smell the Shadowhunter on his bed, reminding him with each breath just what he had lost- what he had given up.

So he ran.

Ran away to London where old memories were just as painful as his most recent and savored the painful distraction. It was sad, substituting one pain for another, trying to forget one memory by attempting to relive another, but Magnus didn’t know what to _do_. Never had a previous lover hurt him so badly, never had someone tried to take away the very thing that he was-

_“I know. I know, and I wasn’t going to do it-”_

And he didn’t- He had never expected that kind, honest, vulnerable and _innocent_ Alec, who didn’t have a manipulative bone in his body, would meet with Camille behind his back and plan the death of his immortality. Perhaps it was that he had been considering it himself, had been struggling to make his own decision, that when he had found out, read the note slipped under his door written in an oh so familiar script, that he had felt backed into a corner, scared with the realization that if Alec had gone through with it, perhaps it wouldn’t be so bad; that he would be able to live knowing that if Alec died, he would not have to go on into eternity alone, that he could finally rest with the love that he had awaited for 800 years. The fact that a Shadowhunter, barely an adult, could hold so much power over him-

And then there had been the vicious thought that if Alec had no problem messing with his life span, than he couldn’t exactly fault him for acting first and taking what he wanted, for making sure that his lover would stay with him forever.

So he’d ended it, before he could do something that would ruin the other male, or before the Shadowhunter could ruin him.

A phrase that Alec had once quoted from Jace rang through his mind, and Magnus almost laughed.

 _To love is to destroy_.

How very true.

(Though Alec had never really told him the other half of the saying.)

_I never thought that you and I, would ever meet again…_

It was years before he returned, his sense of time so skewed after hundreds of endless years that he was almost surprised when Tessa told him how long it’d been since he’d last seen the Shadowhunter he’d ran away from. It was not often that the other Warlock put her foot down, so he listened when she demanded that he wake up, that he go back and face the lover that continued to haunt his thoughts before he ran out of time to do what he had to. To either move on or-

A lot could happen in five years. He had heard rumors of Jonathan, of his war against the Clave and the destruction he brought with him. He had heard things that he would rather forget, things that poisoned his blood with terror that perhaps… Perhaps Alexander had-

So he returned to the city that had once been his home, moving back into an apartment that had been gathering dust and started over.

It took him days to find the courage to go looking for New York’s Shadowhunters, and it took all of a second to make him wish he hadn’t.

* * *

 “Magnus.” Isabelle murmured, eyes blank as she regarded the Warlock, only showing the vaguest of surprise at the lack of glitter and color.

“Isabelle,” He greeted, offering a small smile as he took in the slight changes in the older Shadowhunter. He believed that she was around twenty two now, her features sharper, skin more scarred and eyes tired. “I don’t suppose your brother is around?”

There was a flicker of something in her eyes then, sadness and a hint of bitterness, and her fingers tightened their hold on the door. “Perhaps if you’d answer your phone you’d know.” She snapped, voice like the whip she had loved to use when he’d first met her.

Magnus grimaced. He’d destroyed his phone in a fit of helplessness and anger, his magic escaping and shattering the device into melted pieces that would have been a pain to get out of his furniture without the very thing that had caused them. He had panicked for a while, for what if something happened and no one could reach him? But had been comforted by the thought that surely someone would send a fire message if things went bad. “My apologies, my phone met a rather sad demise a few years ago. I don’t suppose you could just tell me?”

The Shadowhunter’s jaw clenched and she took a shuddering breath. “Alec’s dead. He was found in an abandoned subway tunnel with his throat ripped out by a vampire. I tried to call you but you didn’t answer. And when I went to see you, you weren’t at your apartment.” She looked defeated and lost, abandoned even.

Magnus was frozen. “He’s… dead?”

Isabelle smiled faintly, moving back into the Institute. “You could say that.”

_I mourn the loss of you sometimes and pray for peace within..._ __

He wasn’t really sure what he did after that, how he got to his apartment or how he even managed to stumble to his bed, hands shaking harshly as tears burned his eyes. Magnus hadn’t cried in years, hadn’t felt the burn of his eyes or the harsh shaking of his body as sobs wracked his chest, helpless to stop them, barely able to breathe through the waves of utter grief and loss. He felt lost and broken and-

Alec was gone. Alec was dead. He had left his Shadowhunter in that tunnel, had walked away and he-

If only he’d made sure that the other male made it out, if only he’d listened, if only he’d at least gotten Alec out of there…

Magnus had many regrets, blamed many things on himself, but this by far, was the worst. He had killed the most wonderful boy in the world.

_The word ‘distraught’ cannot describe, how my heart has been,_

It took him days to be able to cease crying, to be able to get up and move around his apartment without feeling tears prick his eyes at the reminders of Alec. When you tried to forget someone, it was as if everything sought for the opposite, shoving the fact that they were gone in your face over and over. Memories that Magnus had struggled to forget rose to the surface and the Warlock hated himself. Hated himself for wasting time, for walking away, for not saving the Shadowhunter.

It was not long before he found himself in a club, drinking whatever he could get his hands on in an effort to forget, ignoring the hands that coaxed him to dance, that tried to get a rise out of his body, that beckoned him to lose himself in the warmth of another. And Magnus almost wanted it, almost said to hell with it and plunged into the mass of sweaty bodies and moving limbs-

And then he looked the left and saw him.

He was sitting a few seats down from him, next to a rather rumpled looking male with curly brown locks that Magnus recognized but could not quite put a name to in his state. He was pale under the flickering lights, skin unmarked and snow white. Perhaps that was what threw the Warlock off, the lack of the scars and marks that were once familiar, that Magnus had memorized with his hands and tongue. But those eyes… Green eyes stared, wide and disbelieving as blue eyes stared right back in shock.

Magnus’ mouth formed his name, and as he staggered up from his seat he could have sworn that he heard his name in answer.

“Alexander-”

In a blink he was gone.

_But where do we begin, now that you’re back from the dead?_


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I was originally going to wait a couple of days to post this but since I've gotten so many lovely comments I decided to give it to you right away. I hope you enjoy~

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Edit: This was supposed to be two parts but after looking everything over I decided that it would flow better if I made it into three.

_I held the funeral, the day you left… **  
**_

The vampire’s memories of waking up hadn’t been pleasant. There had been hunger, a desperate burning fire that he needed to quench, with anything possible; and then there had been the pain of loss. The loss of his life as a Shadowhunter, the loss of his connection to his parabatai, the loss of his family, of his home… And the loss of his love. Perhaps it would have been easier to deal with, if he had still had Magnus by his side, supporting him and helping him with the fact that he would live forever, and that his family would not. That his family would be fighting without him and he could do nothing. That he could no longer protect Izzy and watch Jace’s back. That there would be no more training together, no more late nights hunting, no more teasing Izzy about her cooking, no more listening to the two of them bicker, just- No more. It was over. He had died and with death came consequences. Except he hadn’t made the choice, hadn’t accepting the consequences. The choice had been made for him, forced onto his dying body as blood had spilled from his throat, choking him and making it easier for Maureen to pour blood into his mouth without a fight.

He could remember the look on Jace’s face, pale and horrified as he clutched at the rune on his shoulder, the painful emptiness where a connection had once been making him ache.

He could remember Izzy’s tears, the way she had watched as Jace offered what he had offered to Simon, and how Alec had not been able to refuse in his thirsty state.

He could remember Clary, watching him sadly, and the way Simon had nothing but understanding and sympathy on his face.

Alec could remember it all. All down to the one person who had been missing. The person he had needed the most. **  
**

_A black umbrella and a sad song in my head... **  
**_

He’d tried to contact the Warlock, had called and pleaded and begged and had eventually visited his apartment, only to be struck with the realization that Magnus was gone. That the place they had shared was the same, had not changed, but it was a mere ghost of a life once lived. The furniture was dusty and the same as when he’d snuck out to visit Camille, something that Magnus wouldn’t have allowed with his habit of changing it every couple of days or so, and all of Alec’s things were still there, left when he had been too busy dying to retrieve them.

Perhaps it was the fact that the Chairman wasn’t there, and the knowledge that the Warlock would not leave him behind; or perhaps it was the lack of warmth and life that Magnus always brought to a space, but Alec had known that the older male was gone. For how long and where he did not know, and he did not think it was his place to follow. **  
**

_Buried your pictures that I loved the most... **  
**_

There was very little of his things still at the Institute other than a few photographs and a bag of clothes, everything else resting in Magnus’ dusty apartment, and Alec couldn’t bring himself to take any of it. Instead he took the pictures, digging through his ex-lover’s closet and pulling out the box he’d seen the Warlock go through once or twice, placing the photos in with the other reminders of Magnus’ past. Perhaps it was cruel, and perhaps he was overstepping boundaries (scratch that, he _knew_ he was) but he could not bear to be forgotten and discarded. At least this way Alec would know that they were there, that one day Magnus would come back and see them and remember that there had once been a Shadowhunter who had loved him, who had been stupid but had loved him all the same.

And that, that comforted him, if even a little. **  
**

_Cause if you survived me, I just didn’t wanna know… **  
**_

Maybe he gave up after the first year. Or maybe it was the second, or third, or fourth, or fifth. Maybe he just never hoped to begin with, maybe he had deluded himself, thinking that perhaps Magnus would come back. Maybe he’d been stupid, thinking that he had mattered that much. How much time could the Warlock waste? If Alec had still been human… How many times could he have died by now? How many times could his life have ended, without ever being able to make amends?

Or perhaps… Perhaps Magnus had heard. Perhaps he knew that Alec had been turned and knew that they had eternity. Maybe he was disgusted, maybe he thought that Alec had done it on purpose.

Maybe he didn’t even want him anymore.

* * *

“I met Iz the other day and I think there’s something you should know.” Simon murmured. To a human his words would have been lost in the loud beat of the music, but Alec’s ears picked up on them as if they’d been sitting in dead silence.

“What is it?” He questioned, downing another shot. It was hard to get drunk, and he’d always been rather tolerant to alcohol to begin with. If he wanted to forget by the end of the night then he had to get started now.

“Magnus… He came back.” The vampire answered awkwardly, as if he wasn’t sure that he should be telling him this. “Iz said he came looking for you.”

Alec froze. “What did she tell him?”

“That you were-”

The words barely computed, the dull roar in his ears drowning out Simon’s voice as he stared down at the empty glass in front of him, nodding hollowly when the bartender asked if he wanted another.

_That you were dead._

So Magnus knew. He knew that…

So why hadn’t he tried to contact him? If he’d gone looking…  
Did he not want him? Was he disgusted? Was the thought of him as a vampire… Was it…

Alec swallowed, reaching for the new glass as it was set in front of him, the liquid spiked with blood. He moved to raise it to his mouth, fangs grazing his lips at the smell- And then his eyes slid over to the other end of the bar at the sound of his name and his world froze.

Speak of the devil, he thought distantly, staring in shock at the Warlock who had haunted his thoughts for years.

 _Magnus_.

He didn’t know if he said the name, if he whispered or screamed it as the older male staggered up from his seat. All he knew was that he couldn’t do this right now, this was too much, it wasn’t-

Alec ran. _ **  
**_

_So you can’t, just, come back now, like a demon uninvited... **  
**_

Magnus had always had a rather alarming skill to unsettle people, so really Alec shouldn’t have been so surprised. This is what he had been waiting for right? For the Warlock to come back, so that they could finally resolve what Magnus had refused to hear, so that they could finally move on or get back together.

But Alec… He was scared. He was scared and overwhelmed and even after so many years not. fucking. _ready_. He didn’t want to lose the hope that he had been clinging to, to face the fact that he might have to live an eternity without the Warlock forgiving him.

That fact, of course, didn’t stop Simon from giving Magnus his address. Nor did it stop his ex-lover from coming to his apartment the next day. **  
**

_No, you can’t, just, expect me to open up my door to you because… **  
**_

“Alexander.” Magnus whispered, staring at the vampire. “I thought you were dead.”

Alec frowned. “I am. I thought Izzy told you-” He trailed off, recalling Simon’s words.

_She told him you were dead._

Blue eyes widened in understanding. The Warlock had thought… His sister hadn’t explained… “I’m so sorry.” He breathed, fingers tightening on his door. “She shouldn’t have worded it like that.”

The older male let out a weak laugh, shaking his head as he ran a hand through his hair. It was longer now, almost past his shoulders and layered to hang around his face. It suited him, Alec thought, just as the spikes had. “It doesn’t matter. It’s in the past.”

Did that mean that he was in the past? “What are you doing here?”

Magnus paused, seeming almost surprised. “I came to see you.” He started slowly, looking almost uncertain. And perhaps that was what made Alec open the door, the fact that never had he seen the other male look so lost and out of his element, that he had come to him instead of waiting for the vampire to come crawling to him instead, that had Alec letting him inside.

He just hoped that it wasn’t a mistake. **  
**


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for all your lovely comments~ I'm sorry I took so long getting this up, I've been rather distracted by sleep and school ^^'

_I’m so confused, I don’t know what to feel…_

Magnus’ eyes flickered around the small apartment. It was as if someone had been confused as to whether they were going to settle or not, the space seemingly half lived in and almost lonely with it’s sparse decorations and rather clean looks. He took a seat on the rather soft brown couch when Alec gestured to it, the vampire taking a seat across from him on a matching chair. They sat in silence for a few moments, taking in each other.

The ex-Shadowhunter looked weary, his clothes the same worn and loose fabrics as before, though he had seemed to have bought jeans that were made to look that way. His hair was a rumpled mess of curls, something that sent warmth seeping out through his chest in affection. The vampire seemed to be the same, and Magnus couldn’t help but feel glad. “How did it happen?”

Alec seemed startled, snapping out of the reverie he seemed to be in. “I… what?”

Despite the fact that he knew that some parts of the past were painful and better untold, he had to know. “How did you become a vampire?”

He bit his lip, fingers tugging at the sleeve of his sweater as he looked away. “I… When you… left,” Alec swallowed, voice pained. “I went to where I was supposed to meet Camille. I was angry, I was going to kill her or die trying but… Maureen, the girl Simon turned, she’d beaten me to it. She attacked me, she… she ripped out my throat and forced me to drink her blood. I killed her after.” He murmured, voice darkening as his fingers tightened. “I hunted her down and made sure she wouldn’t be able to hurt anyone else.”

Magnus was silent, digesting the new information slowly. He nearly jumped when Alec’s head snapped up, eyes wide and honest. “Magnus that… That night, I wasn’t- I met Camille all those times because she knew you, she knew you like I did and I just- I know it’s stupid but she gave me advice, even if it was in the most painful of ways and she was the only way I could learn about your past. I know I should have left it alone, that if you didn’t tell me, you probably didn’t want me to know but _angel_ , Magnus! I was desperate. How would you feel if I knew almost everything about you and you knew next to nothing about me? If a stranger’s knowledge could have matched yours? I just wanted to know more about you, but it had nothing to do with taking away your immortality. I _swear_.”

The Warlock stared at him, watched as his hands trembled, chest heaving as he struggled to control his breathing, and Magnus’ eyes softened. “Alexander, look at me.” When he looked as if he would refuse, the older male added a soft please.

Alec shuddered, slowly raising his head to meet his ex-lover’s eyes, his own burning with tears.

“I cannot deny that I have been at fault for previous events, and I am sorry that I kept so much from you. I should have told you more, I know that, but Alec… My past is not pretty. You have to understand that I… Darling, I kept it from you because the past can change things. There have been many times where it’s ruined past relationships and I didn’t want to be the cause of our demise.” Magnus smiled humorlessly. “But instead of helping I only seemed to make it worse and for that I am sorry.”

The vampire’s eyes were wide, shocked even. He had expected… The night in the subway tunnel Magnus had seemed so cold and bitter. He had expected some version of that, not this one, which seemed so understand and reasonable. “I know that there are some things that I would rather not know, but Magnus… Nothing you have ever done or experienced in the past could make me leave, or whatever it was that you’re afraid of. I love you and I don’t-” Alec took a shuddering breath, struggling to keep his eyes on the other male’s. “I’m sorry too.”

_Should I throw my arms around you, or kill you for real?_

“All that does not change the fact that you hurt me, and I hurt you.” Magnus murmured, sighing softly.

“Is that why you came here then?” Alec whispered, staring at his hands once more. “To make me hope only to tell me that it doesn’t matter again.”

“Alec-”

“Do you know how much that hurt?” He interrupted, red-tinted tears streaking down his cheeks. “To hear you say that you love me and that it didn’t matter. To hear you say that I didn’t trust you when I have done nothing but. When I was as good as a dog who was lucky to even get scraps. You kept me at a distance, Magnus. You said that you loved and trusted me but I don’t think that you did.”

“You think I lied?” The Warlock demanded, eyes narrowing.

“No.” Alec shook his head. “I believe that you love me, but I don’t think that you trust me. Not enough to give me you, all of you. Not enough to share the past.”

“Why does the past have to matter?!” He exclaimed, sparks flickering off of his fingertips. “It has nothing to do with the future-”

“It has everything to do with the future.” The vampire whispered, swallowing hard.

Magnus’ anger dimmed, and his shoulders slumped as he ran a hand over his face. “I didn’t come here to argue.”

“Then what did you come here for, Magnus?” Alec questioned, voice almost pleading.

“You.”

_Cause I worked so hard to put the past to rest…_

Alec shook his head in bewilderment, brows furrowing. “What about me? I don’t-”

“I missed you, Alexander.” Magnus murmured, voice softening as he moved to stand, walking around the coffee table. “I know that what I did that night was foolish, I was hurt and not thinking clearly. And though what you did was wrong so is what I did.”

The vampire watched him, eyes both scared and hopeful as the Warlock stopped in front of him. “What… What does that mean?” He whispered, shaking slightly.

Magnus smiled gently, reaching down to cup Alec’ face in his hands. “It means, that if you’ll have me,” He murmured, leaning down to brush his lips against the other male’s. “I’d like to try this again.”

_Now it’s tumbling down on me just like an avalanche…_

Alec jolted forward, winding his arms around the Warlock’s and pulling him down against him- or perhaps Magnus was pulling him up- all he knew was that Magnus was against him, their lips moving together and it was deliriously wonderful to be able to curl his fingers into the other male’s hair, to taste him on his tongue and to have his scent surrounding him; to be able to melt against a taller body, to feel the warmth of Magnus’ skin and feel familiar hands sliding down over his skin, cradling him close as they fell back onto a bed.

He wasn’t sure who moaned first, the sound vibrating his chest as his clothes were discarded in a rush of fabric before Alec was wrapping himself around Magnus once more, scared that if they were parted for too long the other male would disappear for good. And _god_ , he had missed this, had missed being able to let go, to trust another with himself and to know that that trust would not be broken, to be able to surrender and moan and gasp under his love without being judged.

“I love you.” He breathed, mouthing at the arch of Magnus’ neck as his hips rocked into the fingers working his body open.

The Warlock practically purred an answering statement, nipping at Alec’s chest and marking the nearly flawless flesh as he pulled his fingers away, grasping the vampire’s knee and pulling his leg up over his hip as he sunk into his lover’s familiar warmth, raising his head to steal a feverish kiss as they began to move in tandem, soft sounds of pleasure and shuddering pants devoured by hungry mouths. They were starved of this, of each other, and Magnus’ magic nearly blew out the windows in result, sparks flickering off of his fingertips and disappearing against Alec’s skin. And yet, it still wasn’t enough. Alec longed to be closer, wished that he could crawl into Magnus and never come out, his limbs tightening their grip on the Warlock as he whimpered at the feeling of his impending release. He didn’t want it to be over so soon, didn’t want to have to face the fact that perhaps Magnus would change his mind after this, perhaps he would leave…

“I’m not leaving.” Magnus growled, nipping at Alec’s lips, his eyes fierce. “I promise you, Alexander.”

He cried out as his body shuddered, tears slipping down his cheeks as he clung to his lover, desperate to believe him, for those words to be the truth. Alec shook against him as the Warlock joined him in bliss, his hands running over the vampire’s body tenderly as he kissed away his tears.

“I love you.” Alec whispered, voice shaking and scared as he closed his eyes, curling as close as possible.

“I love you too, darling.” Magnus murmured gently, arms tight around him. “Sleep, my love. I’ll be here when you wake up.”

And Alec did and Magnus was.

_Where do we begin now that you’re back from the dead?_

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So here you go. I'm not that happy with the ending but eh.  
> I've also been debating writing a bit more about how they proceed through the future if the mood strikes me. Would anyone be interested in that?


End file.
